Newspaper Mario and the 100 Year Door
by richcyborg gal
Summary: A parody to Paper Mario 2. NOTE: I just added a new chapter so it's going to be awhile until I can postup Halftime show 2. Please enjoy what I have so far. Thankies!
1. The Prolouge

Newspaper Mario and the 100 Year Door

Prologue:

* * *

Ahem! Today! I'm going to tell you bums a story, so listen up! A long time ago in some place, there was a town. One day, this "thing" happened and the town was destroyed. Months pasts and some bum decided to build another town. Then, a huge bat came in and… (Producer comes in and slaps him silly.) Sorry, anyway underneath the town was remains of the old has-been town with some magical door or some crap like that. In the door, there was some treasure no one knows about it, but I do! It's actually… (Producer whacks him in the head with a big catfish.) Okay! I'll stick to the point! That is the story that is past in Rougeport and where our whole story begins. (The setting changes to Peach in Rougeport.) 

Peach: My this is such a lovely town! Its so… unique. (A drunk toad walks up to her.)

Toad: Sliver bells.hiccupSliver bells

Peach:Are you okay?

Toad:(throws up) Hey lady! Wanta have some fun?

Peach: Get away from me, you freak!

(Toad walks away.)

Peach: Thank goodness.

Shopkeeker: Oh missy. Missy?

Peach: (Turns around)Do you mean me?

Shopkeeper: Yeah, bitch! Who else do you think I was talking to? Myself?

Peach: Sorry, Mr.Sensitive!

Shopkeeper: Anyway, do you want to buy something or what?

Peach: Ummm... How about this box? What's in it?

Shopkeeper: Some map to some silly treasure or some crap like that. I thought it was toilet paper at first.

Peach: Ewww. Anyway, I'll take it!

Shopkeeper: Its 25$. No personal checks or else!

(Peach opens it and the light show happens.)


	2. The Real Prolouge: A Rouge's Welcome

The **Real **Prologue: A Rouge's Welcome

* * *

At Mario and Luigi's house, Luigi is making some breakfast, and Mario is watching some TV. 

Parakarry: Mail call!

(Luigi runs out, grabs mail, and go inside.)

Luigi: Mail's here! Let's see. Bill, bill, magazine from "Playtoad"?

Mario: That must be Wario s'.

Luigi: No it says "Mario"

Mario: Oh look! A letter from Peach!

Luigi: May I read it to you?

Mario: No! Its mine! Get your own letter! (Runs to room.)

Mario:(Reads letter)  
Dear Mario, I'm on avacation and I'm in a town called Rougeport. Along the way, went and purchise a map from a shopkeeper.He told that the map leads to an ancient treasure. I would love it, if you came along with me to find it. Please come. If you don't, I'll rip your eyes out. Okay? Love, Peach. P.S The map is in the letter.

Mario: I'm going on a trip! Be back soon!

Luigi: Don't you want some...

(Mario leaves)

Luigi: He never has time for me!(Starts crying)

(He then takes a boat trip to Rougeport.)

Capt.: Here we are! Rougeport! Full of drunks, theives, gangters, and hookers.

(Mario gets off the boat, but hears a scream.)

Goombella: What the hell do you want with me, you freaks!

Lord Crump: I just want you to tell me about the Crystal Stars, and maybe give me some money, honey.

Goombella: Like I'll tell you anything, and I'm not giving you jack!

Lord Crump: Okay then! We'll just take you to our fortress! Get her, X-naut!

X-Naut: Yes sir, Lord Crunch!

Lord Crump: ...

X-Naut: I mean Lord Crump.

Goombella: Get away from me! I'll yell "Rape"! I'll do it!

Mario: Hey! Leave her alone!

Lord Crump: Why should I?

Mario: Because, I'll tell your mommy!

Lord Crump:(sarcastic) Oh-no. Not my mommy. What should I do.

LC's mom: Crumpy! Are you trying to rob people, again!

Lord Crump: Mother! I'm trying to do my job! Go away!

LC's mom: Why should I?

Lord Crump: Because the good guys are going to get away! Now, if you excuse me, I...

(Mario and Goombella are long gone)

Lord Crump: Damn you, mother!

LC's mom: Well! Someone isn't going have cake, when we get home!

Lord Crump: Poopie.

At the plaza...

Goombella: Thank you so much! (She kisses him) Now, what's your name?

Mario: Its Mario. You?

Goombella: Its Goombella! Strange, I've heard your name somewhere, before.

Toadsworth: Master Mario! I've found you at last!

Mario:Ohhhhhhhh great.

Toadsworth: The Princess is missing! I've search high and low for her, and I can't find her! And blah, blah,blah, and...

Mario: Shut UP! Stop talking! You're mouth keeps goingon and on like that battery!

Toadsworth: Well then! I'll be at this inn, if you need me.

Goombella: Like, what's your problem? He just wanted you to look for the Princess!

Mario: Well, I had to get him to shut up. He can be very annoy.

Goombella: Hey, what's in your pockets? Look's like a map.

Mario: It is a map. I just got it today. (Shows her map.)

Goombella: Cool! Hey, let's go my Prof. house.

Mario: Okay.

(The both of them find it in three hours.)

Goombella: Prof. Frankly! Hello!

Prof.: Who's there? What do you want?

Goombella: Hey, Prof.! Can you guess who this goomba is?

Prof.: Are you that little brat I had last year?

Goombella: No. I think you're thinking of Goombreil or Elizagoom.

Prof.: Then you're Goombella. Anyway, what are you doing here?

Goombella: I'm looking for the treasure hidden here in this dump! I also met this guy who saved my life!

Prof.: What's his name?

Mario: It'a-a-me! Mario!

Prof.: WHO!

Mario: Mario! Prof. Crazy von Yellalots!

Prof.: Whatever. Anyway, let's go down to Rougeport sewers!

Mario: Why? I don't want to smell like crap all day!

Prof.: Because, there's something down their I want to see!

(So they all go down to the sewers, till they saw the goomba famliy.)

Goomba: Hey baby! What' s up?

Paragoomba: Why don't you come with us, and dump those two losers!

Prof.: Okay! I'll just...

Spikegoomba: Not you! We were talking to the girl!

Goombella: No way, you weirdos!

Goomba: Meanie! Let's get them! (He girly slaps them.)

Mario:(sarcastic) Oh, that hurt. (Beats him with a hammer.)

Goomba: Ouch! Run away!

(They all run away.)

Prof.: Let's keep going.

(So they all go down to the part where that treasure chest is.)

Goombella: What is that?

Mario: Its a treasure chest, dumbass!

Goombella: I knew that!

Chest: Whoa! Who's that out there? Can you hear me, now?

Mario: Yes, we can hear you.

Chest: Good. So, can you guys let me out? I'll return the favor!

Prof.: Well, I found a key, so I guess I can let you out.

(They open it)

Chest: Eee Hee! Fools!

(The background changes into the purple ish.)

Chest: Did you really think that a young girl was in here!

Mario: Well, when I heard the "eee hee", I thought you were Micheal Jackson.

Chest: Whatever. Now, I will curse you!

Goombella: Is that it?

Chest: Uh, yeah.

Mario: Well, I'm leaving.

Chest: Don't go! (Sings Akon: "Lonely") I'm sooo lonely. I have nobody. On my own!

(They all leave.)

Chest: Damn it!

(Then Mario steps on the panel, does that airplane move, and they're in that room where the door is.)

Mario:(steps on panel) I'm king of the...

(Then that lightshow happens, with the map, and it shows him the first crystal star.)

Goombella: What happen?

Prof.: I don't know but I think we should go back to my place.

At the Prof's house...

Prof.: Amazing!

Goombella: What is?

Prof.: How Mario is able to use a special move.

Mario: What's so special about that?

Prof.: Let me just explain...

A few hours later...

Prof.: That's why its important. Now go out and find those stars!

So Mario and Goombella went back to the sewers and headed straight for Petalburg.

End of Prolouge.


	3. Castle & Dragon

Chapter 1: Castle and Dragon

RCG: Sorry Chap.1 took so long. (Stupid school.) Anyway, please read and review! PS: RCG stands for Richcyborg Gal.

* * *

Mario and Goombella came out of the pipe from Rougeport to Petal Maedows. They were on the field. 

Goombella: Goodness! Look at this field!

Mario: Oh Lord! Look at the sky!

(They both looked up to see a dragon flying to a dark castle.)

Mario: Holy smoke! What is that?

Goombella: Its a dragon, retard.

Mario: I knew that! I was just testing you!

Goombella:...

(So the two went to find the village and in two minutes, they find it.)

Koopa: Howdy! Welcome to Petalburg! Full of wussies and cowards!

Mario: Then why isn't called "Wussyburg"?

Koopa: I don't know! Ask the writer of this story!

Richcyborg gal: Because that's how the people ,who made the game, wanted it to be!

Goombella: Why is there so little of you?

Koopa: Because a dragon, called Hooktail, eats us for breakfast.

Mario: So that's the dragon we saw!

Goombella: Thanks, greenboots. By the way, do you know anything about the Crystal Stars?

Koopa: No, but Mayor Kroop might know. His house is the rainbow colored one.

Mario: That's interesting. Let's go.

(They find a rainbow colored house and they go in. They see a old koopa with huge eyebrows.)

Mario: Hello?

Mayor: Who's there? Is this the FBI?

Mario: No. My name is Mario and...

Mayor: I didn't rape her! She just came on to me and...

Goombella: Look, old man, we didn't come here to listen to your story. Just tell us about the Crystal Stars!

Mayor: And I...what? You just want to know about the Crystal Stars?

Mario: Yes, you ijit! That's what we've been trying to tell you!

Mayor: Okay then, meanie! What's your name?

Mario: Mario.

Mayor: Okay, Murphy! Now...

Goombella: No. Its "Mario".

Mayor: Yes, I know Texas isn't a city. Now to find that star, you need to get the stone keys, take the keys to Hooktail Castle, and beat the dragon.

Mario: What's at Hooktail Castle?

Mayor: The damn thing you're looking your looking for!

Mario: Stop yelling at me!

Mayor: (starts crying) How dare you yell at a elderly Koopa! Police!

Snifit Patrol: Is there a problem, Mayor Droop?

Mayor: Yes, and its "Kroop". These two hoodligans are verbally abusing me!

Snifit Patrol: Is this true?

Goombella: Hell no! This old fart's lying!

Snifit Patrol: How dare you call Mayor Soup an "Old Fart"!

Mayor: Its "Kroop".

Snifit Patrol: Whatever. You two are under arrest for the harassment of Mayor Poop!

Mayor: ITS KROOP!

Snifit Patrol: Whatever! Tyrone! D'Sean! Let's kick some ass!

(Mario and Goombella run to the Koopa at the gate.)

Gatekeeper: Oh shiznite.(Gets ran over by the Police.)

(Mario and Goombella then run all the way to the Shhwonk Fortress.)

Mario: That was close. (Turns to see a Thwomp statue.)

Goombella: Sweet! A statue! I get to urine on it!

Mario: No you don't! I'm the hero! I go first!

Statue: Hey! I'm a live statue!

Goombella: It talks!

Mario:(sarcastic) No really.

Statue: Anyway, I heard that you two are travelers, looking for the stone keys.

Mario: Do you know where there are?

Statue: I know where there are.I'll tell you if you do something for me.

Goombella: Is it physically, mentally, or sexually.

Statue: Mentally, but if you want...

Mario: Its not going to happen.

Statue: Okay then! Let's play...(background changes.) THE SUPER FUN QUIZ SHOW!

Audience: Yay!

Statue: Today on our show, we have some special guest, today! The rules are simple as a pimple.

Mario: How are pimples simple?

Statue: Hey! I'm the host and I'll ask the questions! Now, I'll ask five, "fun",questions. If you get three wrong...

Audience: You get slimed with toxic waste;causing you to mutate and become a freak! Yay!

Statue: That's right! Get all five questions right, and you'll get a mysterious prize!

Mario: What's the mystery prize?

Statue: Now if I told you, it wouldn't be a mystery, now will it? On to the first question!

Mario: I hate triva.

Statue: And triva hates you. Question #1! What is the square root of pie? P-I-E?

Mario: I thought you said these were fun questions!

Statue: I lied.

Goombella: That's easy! There is no square root of pie! P-I-E!

Statue: That's correct! Question #2! Is there such a thing as a flying unicorn? (These questions suck.)-RCG

Mario: I don't know.

Statue: That's correct! Question #3! Do you know the Muffin Man?

Goombella: The one who lives on Durly Lane? Of course!

Statue: That's correct! Question #4! Pretend your a bus driver. You pick up 30 people, then you drop off 10, and pick up 20 more. What color is the bus driver's eyes?

Goombella: Um... blue?

Statue: That's correct! Now for the final question! How many letters are in the word "The Alphabet"?

Mario: That's easy! 26!

Statue: WRONG! The anwser is 11! You lose!

Goombella: But you said if we got three questions wrong, we lose!

Statue: Oh yeah. I forgot. But I the producer, director, and host so that means you lose!

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Statue: SHUT UP!

Audience: ...

Goombella: You jerk! Let us out!

Statue: Okay, but you have to anwser me this last question. When traveling at a subsonic speed, during the last hour of hypersleep, which vector of the Romulan Nebula will suffer the wrath of the impenetrable quicken? Be serious. This is a real question.

Mario: Bananarama?

Statue: Damn you and your knowledge! You can past.

(So Mario and Goombella climb down the pipe and its a secret passage, fulled with water.)

Mario: Damn! Its like a river down here! (Sees something gilttering)

Goombella: I think those are the stone keys!

Gold Fuzzy: Hey! What are you guys doing here?

Mario: Um to get those keys from you?

Gold Fuzzy: Well, I'll fight you for them!

(Mario setsa fire flower down and burns it)

Goombella: That was fast. Now, lets get out of here! My ass is freezing!

(They leave the cave.)

Mario: Now what are we going to do about the Mayor?

Goombella: We could go to the Mayor and apologize.

Mario: Fine!

(They go back to the village to see the Mayor)

Mario: Excuse me? Mayor Kroop?

Mayor Kroop: Who's that? Is this the police?

Goombella: No, but were just here to al...

Mayor Kroop: You whippersnapper! When I was you age, I...(falls asleep)

Mario: Okay. Let's just go andget the Crystal Star.

(They leave the village till they here a voice.)

Koops: Um. Excuse me.

Mario: Who are you?

Koops: Hi. My name is Koops and I was wondering if I could... join your party?

Goombella: Why?

Koops: Because I want to get revenge on Hooktail for killing my dad!

Mario: No! You look weak! No more freaks!

Koops: Why not? Are you a racist against Koopas? I'm calling the police!

Goombella: No! Don't! You can come with us! The more the merrier!

Mario:(thinks to himself) Great.More freaks. First a goomba, now a koopa. Who else? Pee-Wee Herman?

Koops: Now let's go to the castle!

(They were about to leave when...)

Koopie Koo: Koops. Are you serious? You're not really going to that castle, are you?

Koops: Hell's yeah! I'll be back!

Koopie Koo: But you'll die! Your weak, anyway, so what's even the point of going?

Koops: But I'm going there to not be weak! I'm showing you that I'm not a baby!

Koopie Koo: Fine! Go! When you're dead, I'll have an affair!(leaves)

Koops:FINE!

Mario: Right. Let's go.

(They are go to the field where the stone warp pipe is.)

Goombella: Great. A puzzle. I love puzzles!

Mario: (takes out hammer) I don't. Let's whack it down to size.

Goombella: Then, what was the point of collecting the stone keys?

Mario: To kill some time.

(Mario breaks it down. Then they go down in the pipe and go to the castle)

Koops: So this is "Hooktail Castle"

Goombella: Okay, then. Let's go.

(They walk around the castle till they see some red bones blocking a door)

Mario: What is that?

Koops: I don't know but I'm going to kick it.

RB: Who dares awaken me from my sleep? I will bury you!

Mario: You gotta chase us first!

(So the dead Koopa chase the gang all the way to the top of the castle where Hooktail is)

Hooktail: Whose there? I will eat you!

Koops: You're going to reget killing my dad!

Hooktail: I didn't kill him! I ate him!

Koops: That's it! (Koops beats the crap out of Hooktail)

Koops: I did it! But where's my dad?

(Hooktail spits him out)

Koops: DAD! You're alive!\

Kooply:Who the Hell are you?

Koops: Its me, dad! Koops! Your son!

Kooply: I have a son! Well, I'm going home to get a beer. (walks away)

Goombella: Hey, your dad drop something! Its the Crystal Star!

Everyone: Horray!

And so Mario, Goombella, and Koops found the first Crystal Star. But they're many more to be found. Yes, their adventure has just begun. Now we'll take a short break.


	4. Half time show 1

Halftime SHOW! This is a mini chapter of Princess Peach and Bowser.Also it explains how Mario gets to the next place. Enjoy!

* * *

_Peach's side:_

Peach was held captive(as usual).However,it wasn't at Bowser's castle. It was at a different lair.

Sir Grodus: Ah. Princess Peach. You may speak when spoken to.

Peach: What do you...

Sir Grodus: No, not now.

Peach: So...

Sir Grodus: Not yet.

Peach:(silent)

Sir Grodus: Now, you may talk.

Peach: What do you want with me?

Sir Grodus: Simple. Just tell us where the map is and we won't use force.

Peach: What map? I don't know what you're talking about!

Sir Grodus: Yes you do, you lier! We **know** you had the map!

Peach: But I don't have it! I think you have the wrong person.

Sir Grodus: No, I don't. Listen, Princess. We're not rainbows and butterflies. We X-nauts are rough people and if you don't tell us...

X-naut: Sir Grodus! We have news! The Crystal star is gone!

Sir Grodus: WHAT! How?

X-naut: All we know is that its a gay Iltalian person, wearing red overalls.(No offvense to the Iltailians)-RCG

Peach:(whispers) That's Mario!

Sir Grodus: What did you say? Who's Mario!

Peach: Your dad in a banana suit. Nobody!

Sir Grodus: Fine! If that how you want to play, then I'll send you our "evil" room! X-Naut!

X-Naut: Yes?

Sir Grodus: Take the Princess to the "evil" room!

(They take her away)

Sir Grodus: You! X-naut! Bring Lord Crump and the Shadow Sirens!

X-Naut: Yes sir, dude! I mean Sir Grodus, dude. I mean...

Sir Grodus: Just shut up and go!

3 minutes later...

Lord Crump: I'm telling you, Beldam! Its true!

Beldam: I don't believe you when you say Monks don't talks!

Sir Grodus: Actually, some Monks do talk and some don't.

Both: Ohhhhhhh.

Sir Grodus: Anyway, I called you ,Lord Crump,so that I want you to find the next crystal star in Boggy Woods. Beldam, I want you stop this "Mario" person. Okay?

Both: Yes, Sir Grodus. (They leave)

Meanwhile...

Peach is in the "evil" room, which turns out to be a normal room.

Peach: Sigh. Here I am, again. Kidnapped.

(Door opens all by itself)

Peach: Okay. That's weird.

(She goes in and finds a bathroom.)

Peach: Oh! A shower! I think I'll take one!

(She take a shower but doesn't relize there is a camera in the stall)

Sir Grodus:(Watching Peach in his head)That's it. Keep washing, you sexy beast!

X-naut: Uh... Sir Grodus? Who are you talking to?

Sir Grodus: No one! Get back to work!

(After the shower, Peach puts her dress on, walks out the door, and another door opens.)

Peach: Okay. This is starting to freak me out.

(Peach goes through the door and sees an elevator.Then the door, again!)

Peach:What the hell is going on?

(She goes through the door and sees a giant computer)

TEC: Welcome, Princess.

Peach:Who said that? Whose there?

TEC: Ha. You silly girl. I'm right above you and you don't even notice.

Peach:(looks up) Who are you?

TEC:My name is TEC-XX. You may call me TEC. I'm the world's perfect computer.

Peach: Okay, TEC. Anyway, could you tell me who was opening those doors?

TEC: That was me. I led you here.

Peach: Why?

TEC: Earlier, I was watching you and my circuit went arwy, and...

Peach: Get to the point! We don't have all day!

TEC: I relize that I want to observe you.

Peach: You want to observe me?

TEC: Yes.

Peach: ... Um... That's weird. Could it be that...

TEC: That what? Please tell me.

Peach: That you might be in love with... me?

TEC: Love? What is "love"? Its it a breakfast cereal?

Peach: What? You don't know what love is?

TEC: No.

Peach: Love. How can I explain this. Love is a feeling that two people get when they reallyl ike each other.

TEC: ...

Peach: Phycally, and emoctionally.

TEC:... I still don't understand.

Peach: Nevermind. You're just a computer.

TEC: Not just any computer. A **super** computer.

Peach: Right. Can you let me out?

TEC: No. I can't. But maybe you teach me this "love" thing.

Peach: Two things. 1. Hell naw! 2. You jerks kidnap me like common koopas!

TEC: You are angry. That emotion I can understand. For now, why don't you get some rest. And I'll just watch you sleep.

Peach: What?

TEC: Nothing.

Peach: Um. Okay. Good night.(Leaves)

TEC: Good night, Princess.

* * *

_Bowser's Side:_

Our story begins as Bowser come in his castle.

Bowser: KAMMY! You crusty old hag! What did you need me for?

Koopatrol: Your Nastiness. The crusty old hag will be here, shortly.

3 hours later...

Kammy: I'm back!

Bowser: Finally! What took you so long!

Kammy: I had stuff to do. Anyway, I had something to tell you.

Bowser: What is it?

Kammy: Mario is on vacation.

Bowser:... That's it?

Kammy: Well, yeah.

Bowser:... That's all! Are you going to call me everytime that man coughs!

Kammy: But there's more! You see there is a treasure called the Crystal Stars. Whoever has them, has ultimate power!

Bowser: Your point?

Kammy: If Mario isn't here, then we could get the treasure, and rule the world!

Bowser:... Oh! I get it!

Kammy: Oh, by the way. Do you like tacos/ burritos?

Bowser: I **love** them! Why do you ask?

Kammy: Well, I was thinking our taking the the whole gang to Petalburg, for a picnic. I just wanted to know if it was alright.

Bowser:... YOU IDIOT! This is why my plans never work!I work with blockhead! (Stomps his foot, angrly.)

Kammy: King Bowser! Please! Remember what the doctor told you!

(Kamek walks to Kammy, and whispers something in her ear.)

Kammy: My Lord! We have a problem! It seems that Princess Peach has been... kinapped! (Bum, bum, BUM!)-RCG

Bowser: WHAT! Who would do such a thing! Besides me!

Kammy: Well, I just got this, so I really don't know.

Bowser: Well, I'm going to find her! (Flies away in his clown moble thingy.)

Kammy: Wait for me!

* * *

_Mario's side_

Mario, Koops, and Goombella, were standing around, doing nothing.

Koops: So, I guess we should go back underground?

Mario: I guess. There's nothing to do here.

Goombella: Alright. Let's go.

So Mario, Koops, and Goombella, went back to the pipe and to the Thousand Year Door.

Mario: Now what do we do?

Goombella: My guess is that you have the use the Crystal Star to find the next one.

Everyone except Goombella: What?

Goombella: Just get on the damn thing.

(Mario goes on it and the light show happens again. The map points the next star to Boggy Woods.)

Mario: Where the fart is that place?

Koops: Maybe we should go see the Professor. Frankly.

Mario: No way, pal! My ears still hurt from the last time he yelled in my ear.

Goombella: Well, bring earplugs!

At the Prof. House...

Prof. Frankly: This is interesting.

Goombella: What?

Prof. Frankly: Did you know the every 3 seconds, a girl gets pregant!

Everyone except Frankly: ...

Prof. Frankly: What? Its true!

Goombella: What about the map?

Prof. Frankly: Oh that? Well, its underground, somewhere. You just have to find it. Also, be on the look out for little things called Punies. They're very small.

Mario: Okay. Let's go!

(The gang go back underground, where Mario was cursed, and they see a Puni.)

Koops: Hey. What's that thing?

Mario: That would be a Puni. Let's talk to him!

Punio: Don't eat me! Please! I taste bad!

Goombella: Were not going to eat you! (whisper to Mario) Not yet. Wait until I say so.

Mario: Darn.(puts away fork anf knife)

Punio: What was that?

Mario: Nothing!

Goombella: Anyway, are you lost little guy?

Punio: No. I was just looking for help.

Mario: Why?

Punio: Cause, there is this evil gang called X-Naut, and there looking for some star.

Koops: X-Naut? Sounds like tissues. To the extreme.

Punio: I know! Anyway, could you guys help me out? We could give you a reward!

Mario: Okay

So Punio took Mario and the gang to the Boggy Woods, where the next Crystal Star was.

End of the Halftime show! Sorry it took so long to write!-RCG!


	5. The Great Boggy Tree

Chapter 2: The Great Boggy Woods

_Note: This story sometimes makes fun of Preppy people. (I hate Preps, btw)-RCG_

* * *

As Mario, Goombella, Koops and Punio got off the pipe, they looked around the myserious woods. 

Mario: Whoa. This place. It feels strange. Has anyone seen the movie _Tron_?

Goombella: No

Koops: No

Mario: No

Punio: Yes. Wait... no. If we keep going, we'll be close to the Boggy Tree!

All: Hooray!

(They all keep walking till they see three shadow people)

Beldam: Now, Vivian, what's our plan again?

Vivian: A. We first find Mario. B. We take his map. C. We return the map to Sir Grodus.

Beldam: Excellent! Now, I... Vivian! What is that?

Vivian: Its a necklace! I found it on the ground.

Beldam: Disgusting! You could get AIDS from that! Whatever, just hand me that wanted poster.

Vivian: What poster? I don't have that!

Beldam: Yes you do, you stupid twat!

Vivian: "Twat"? What's a Twat?

Beldam: Its your mom! Now find that poster!

Vivian: We have the same mom!

Beldam: Shut up! (slaps Vivian)

Mario: Okay. I think we'll avoid these guys.

(They avoid them and they keep walking. Finally, they reach the tree.)

Punio: Well here we are. I... Hello! I'm talking here!

Mario: (not listening to Punio) So this is the Tree.

Koops: Its bigger than the great Deku Tree in Legend of Zelda!

Punio: ... Anyway, that door wasn't there before!

Goombella: What door?

Koops: The one that has the high tech stuff on it.

Goombella: I knew that!

Punio:It wasn't there before!

Mario: Oh well. I'll go get a chainsaw.

Punio:Wait! I remember something! Madame Flurrie can help us!

Koops: Who?

Punio: Madame Flurrie! She has a power that she use to help us! Let's go to her!

At Flurrie house's...

Flurrie: Ahem!

RCG: Okay! At **Madame** Flurrie's house!

Flurrie: Thank you. Anyway, WHERE THE FART IS IT! I can't, like, find my necklace!

Back at the tree...

Mario, Koops, Goombella, and Punio went to Madame Flurrie's house. When they got in, it was empty.

Punio: Madame Flurrie! Where are you?

Flurrie: Who's, like, there?

Punio: Its Punio!

Flurrie: Oh Punio! Like, what are doing here?

Punio: Well, we need your help! There's a door and I can't open it myself! Can you help?

Flurrie: I would but I,like, lost my necklace. I can't go anywhere with,like, without it!

Koops: I think I saw a necklace at the beginning of this story.

Mario: Great. Now we gotta go back!

(They all leave her house and they go back where the shadow folk are.)

Beldam: Well, Vivian, your stupid arguing cost us to miss Mario! Isn't that right, Marilyn?

Marilyn: Guhh. (I don't know.)

Beldam: Anyway, I found the poster, so let's see this "Mario"person.

All girls: OH LORD!

Beldam: This man is handsome! Wait, I think I've seen him before. Vivian!

Vivian: What now, you hag!

Beldam: Because of you, we miss Mario!

Vivian: Why are you always blaming stuff on me? You're the one who had the poster all along!

Beldam: No I didn't! Stop blaming stuff on me! And I was going to give back your necklace, too!

Mario: Did someone say "Necklace?"

Beldam: Yes. Why do you ask?

Mario: Because, we're looking for one.

Beldam: Oh. Well, I have one and...wait! I mean, we've been looking for Mario!

Koops: Okay...who are you guys?

Beldam: We are...

Marilyn: The three...

Vivian: Shadow Sirens.

Beldam:No, no, noVivian!

Vivian: What?

Beldam: You said it wrong!

Vivian: What did I do wrong? I said the word!

Beldam: But you have to say it with passion and intimation! Not wimpy!

Vivian: Its just a word!

Beldam: (slaps her) Shut up!

Mario: ...Okay. Let's avoid these guys...again!

(Koops does that shell move to grab the necklace, and they walk back to Flurrie's house.)

Punio: Madame Flurrie! We're back!

Flurrie: Oh my God! Alright! Like its you! Did you get,like, my necklace?

Punio: Of course! I'll just place it by the door.

(The music changes into some crappy pep music is played.)

Goombella: What the...?

(Roses appears,Flurrie comes out, but the roses die.)

Everyone except Flurrie: HOLY CRAP!

Koops: Put on some clothes! I have a girlfriend!

Flurrie: No way! So,like,I must,like,repay you, like, somehow?

Mario: How about some coins? Does 15 sound desent?

Flurrie: How about a big wet kiss?

Mario: No!

Flurrie: Here I come!

(She knocks everyone out of the way,grabs Mario, and kisses him. Eww)

Mario: Sick! I brushed my teeth this morning!

Flurrie: It wasn't that bad!

Mario: You're right. It was terrible.

Flurrie: (Makes her hands into a "W") Whatever! So, can I come with you guys?

Mario: Like no! We don't want a prep in the group!

Flurrie: But I bring so much to the team!

Mario: Like what? American Eagle and Polo?

Flurrie: Um no! I'm so cute! You gotta!

Goombella: Come on guys! Without her, we can't get very far.

Mario: Fine, but she stays in the pocket!

Flurrie: Like yay! (jumps in)

Mario: Now what.

Punio: We go back to the tree. Duh!

Mario: Oh yeah. Let's go.

(So they all go back to the tree)

Goombella: Now what?

Punio: Well, why don't you take Flurrie out of Mario's pocket.

Mario: Fine. (takes Flurrie out)

Flurrie: Like were am I?

Punio: You're at the tree! Can you use your wind power to find the secret entrance?

Flurrie: Like sure! I can, like, do that! (blows it away reveiling a huge sign).

Mario: ...Wow.

Punio: What?

Mario: Nothing.

(Punio climbs up the tree and enters the hole)

Flurrie: Isn't Punio, like, the cutest thing, you ,like, seen?

Goombella: Not really. I've seen cuter.

Flurrie: Anyway, did you know I,like, used to be on, like, TV?

Koops: Really?

Flurrie: Like yeah! I was on the _Real World_, and _Laguna Beach_.

Goombella: I didn't see you in that.

Flurrie: Well, I would of been, if I didn't get kicked out during the taping session...

Mario: I'm sure we would love to hear it.

Flurrie: It all started when...

Punio: (comes out of the big door) Well, its open. Come on in!

Flurrie: But I ,like, never,like, told my, like, story!

Koops: Maybe later...

(So they all enter the tree)

Inside of the tree...

Mario: The inside looks so psyadelic...

Punio: Yeah. Let's go find the other punies.

Mario: Oh little puni! Little puni! (steps on one) Uh-oh...

Goombella: What was that?

Mario: Nothing!

Koops: (sees a puni) Hey! There's one!

Punio: Hey! Me too! (runs over to it) Hey! Why are you hiding?

Puni: Meep!

Punio: What's wrong? Don't be scared! Come on out!

Puni:(comes out and walks over to Mario) He's huge!

Punio: I know. Where are the others?

Puni: I don't know. We sent Billy to check if the coast was clear.

Punio: And?

Puni: He was step-on!

Punio: Who would do that?

Mario: ...

Punio: Anyway, where are the others?

(The other 6 punies pop out)

Punio: There you guys are! I found a powerful ally!

(The punies all surround Mario)

Punio: This is it? Oh well. Let's go men!

Puniper: Hold it!

Punio: Punier!

Puniper: Where do you think your doing?

Punio: I'm going to save the tree!

Puniper: Hmm!

Puni: What?

Puniper:You heard me! Hmmp!

Punio: ...Ok

Puniper: Hmmp!

Punio: What now?

Puniper: Hmmp!

Punio: Ok...

Puniper: Hmmp!

Mario: Will you say something already! You're starting to annoy me!

Puniper:Hmmp! Fine, I will.

Punio: Where are the others?

Puniper: While you were out, those people kidnapped everyone. Even your sister, Petuni

Punio: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Puniper: So hmmp!

Punio: So will you help us?

Puniper: Yeah.

Punio: Really?

Puniper: No.

Punio: Why not!

Puniper: 1.You're a loser. 2. I don't like you. 3.You're a loser.

Punio:And?

Puniper: I don't trust you. Tell ya what. If you can save the others, I'll join you.

Punio: Really?

Puniper: ...Yeah.

Punio: Horray! Let's go gang!

So after 3 hours of wandering around the Boggy Tree, Mario and them finally found where the other punis are.

Mario: Finally!

Punio: Elder!

Elder: What? Punio, is that you?

Punio: Yes.

Elder: Oh Punio, there is so much I want to say. I...

Petuni: Big brother!

Punio:Petuni! Are you okay?

Petuni: Where the hell have you've been! Do you know long I've been waiting for you?

Punio: How long?

Petuni: Three fliping days! Jeesh your worthless.

Punio: ...I'm sorry.

Petuni: Whatever. Just hurry up and unlock the door.

(So once again, Mario and company search the tree for the two keys. Finally, they found them and returned to the cage. Then they release Elder first.)

Punio: Elder! I've come! Let's get out of here!

Elder: (Grows really big) YOU IDIOT!!! What the Hell were you thinking!

Punio: Elder! What are you talking about?

Elder: You know damn well! How could you leave everyone behind?

Punio: Well I...

Elder: Silence! Don't you interupt your elders! Now listen close!

3 hours later...

Elder: Then after you fall in love and get married...

3 more hours later...

Elder: Blah blah blah...

3 more bloody hours later...

Elder: And that's why you must become the leader, Punio.

Punio: Yes Elder. And now I know and knowing is half the battle.

Everyone except the punies: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Elder: Now then, why are here?

Punio: To rescue you!

Elder: Oh yeah. Well hurry up and let's go downstairs! (Heads downstairs)

Punio: Now to save Petuni. (Unlocks her cage)

Petuni: About damn time too! (Everyone leaves the cage)

Punio:...sigh...

(So everyone leaves the cages and heads down to the base of the tree.)

Puniper: Hmmp. I see you rescued the everyone but those bad people are still here.

Punio: But you said you help us!

Puniper: I lied

Elder: (Grows to the size of a car) YOU ASS!!! You should be ashamed of yourself!!

Mario: My ears.

Puniper: But Elder...

Elder: Don't play me no jibber-jabber fool! Now go and help Marty-O or else!

Puniper: Yes Elder.

(So all the punies join Marty...er Mario to look for the Crystal Star. Finally, they reach the base of the tree.)

Goombella: Look! There it is!

(The Crystal Star is floating in a cup)

Flurrie: I got it! (blows it down...into Crump's hands)

Everyone except Flurrie and Crump: Damn you Flurrie!

Flurrie: My B.

Lord Crump: Mwhahahaha! Its mine! Thanks losers!

Koops: You won't get away with this!

LC: Actually, I can. (Holds up a remote control) See this? This will let me blow this stupid tree! (Presses the button) Ta-ta, losers! (Runs off)

Everyone: -.-...Crap!

So in little time they had, everyone started to run like hell. Finally, they reach the top where Elder and Lord Crump was standing.

Elder: I can't let you go any further! I shall defeat you!

LC: Step aside, grandma!

Elder: (Grows to the size of a truck) WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!!

LC: Eeep.(Grows smaller and smaller)

Elder: People these days don't respect there elders! If I were you, I would take people, like me, seriously!

LC: Whoa lady! Do you have a ear hair messing with your brain?

Elder: Okay! That's it! I'll...(back goes out) Crap...

LC: (laughs) I knew it. Old hag. Now to other business. (Stop the timer and heads towards Magnus Von Grapple)

Goombella: You won't get away with this!

LC:Oh yeah? Whose going to stop me? My mother?

LC's Mom: CRUMP!!!

LC: What is it mother? Can't you see I'm trying to take over the world!

LC's Mom: Did you feed Agnus? Agnus is his teddy bear.

LC: MOM!

LC's Mom: What?

LC: Do you mind? I'm trying to take over this silly tree!

LC's Mom: Well that doesn't mean you have to be so cruel to your mother!

LC: You don't have to get in the way of everything!

Mario: ...Oooo. What's that behind the robot? (Points to the huge red button)

Koops: Let's press it. (Presses it)

LC: Ohhh shi...(The robot blows up, sending Crump and his mother out of the tree)

X-naut: 0.o...Runaway! (runs out of the tree)

Punio: Yay! You did it! You saved the Boggy Tree!

Everyone else: Yay...

Elder: Now Marty-O. I think you should grab that Crystal Star and get the hell out of my tree.

Mario grabs the Crystal Star and that makes two!

End of Chapter 2

So Mario and co grabbed the second Crystal Star from the Boggy Tree. Their adventure is not over yet! Stay tuned for Half-time show number 2!

* * *

Note: I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to update. It kinda died at the end but oh well. Please review kindly. 


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